Bleh. I'm going to sound like I'm blaming women here, I'm not - I swear. I also realize this comment is going to make me super hated.

We need to be more discriminatory about the kinds of guys we sleep with. Higher quality men (who are pro choice and pro commitment) ought to be our preference. And it isn't just about being the gatekeeper to sex or whatever, it's also about learning self restraint when it is indeed necessary and putting up boundaries. We put up boundaries with how we let guys talk to us, right? We need to be doing the same thing with sex partners!

I feel like giving guys what they want instantaneously without taking personality into consideration seriously decreases the amount of men who are willing to put efforts into themselves to be seen as a viable long-term partner. Sex is a reward for EVERYONE. Even good people.

Also, where did modesty go? I know this is going to get me also hated here, but modesty is a nice quality. Whether we want to admit it or not, being around impulsive people is uncomfortable. Being around people who are too loose with their desire firmly places people in awkward situations in which they might not know how to establish boundaries.

To be more concrete, if I'm around a guy and things are cordial, then suddenly out of nowhere he introduces a subliminal or not so subliminal reference to sex, my first reaction would be: excuse me, but who gave you the impression I'd tolerate that?

But in the pro-hookup environment that we live in now, I feel like I have to essentially play down a sexual overture or else I'm going to be seen as an unapproachable bitch. And who the hell is that protecting? Certainly not me.

Sorry, I might be alone in this, and I'm not going to start any modesty crusade any time soon. Just putting it out there that I do think modesty is virtuous from both men and women.