Coming Clean about My Earnings in May and Turning my Dreams into Reality
This is the first month I took writing seriously. How did I do? Surprises + Insights
So, I’ve finally taken everyone’s advice and decided to write (nearly) every single day on Medium. I figured: why the hell not? I’m not exactly employed currently, since I’m hellbent on making writing work for me.
I’ve been told for years — literally — to start writing. Encouraged by many, though I listened to nobody. Until now.
Fortunately, I’ve been blessed with the risk-taking genes. To be clear, I have no idea if there’s a real genetic basis for taking risks. All I know is I’ve adopted a really oddball relationship with ‘safety’ as a concept due to certain folks I’ve befriended and situations I’ve gotten wrapped up in.
After enough bullshit something clicked. I kind of started wondering if I could redirect the BS current into something that would result in a net-positive.
All my life I’ve felt cornered into making decisions that weren’t what I wanted. Sometimes I would stop to ask myself: wait a second, where am I in this choice? More often than not, I was used as a tool to fulfill the fantasies and dreams of people who didn’t have the self-awareness nor willpower to seize their youth and make life worth living for themselves.
Such a relationship with certain traumatizing events may cause your inner emotions to strike a match inside of you. Either you will learn to express this as hot envy and repulsion of people who accomplished their goals or you’ll be motivated to pave your own destiny.
I chose the latter.
I am sharply anti-authority. No one can tell me what’s right until it’s shown to me. This often means I’ll gleefully get my hands dirty and learn via action and intuition. While this meant making some piss poor choices, the wisdom I’ve been endowed with are permanently etched into my brain like nodes on a circuitboard.
As a result of my inclinations toward authority, I am not a successful 9–5 kind of person. I’ve got some real wacko stories about how I deliberately tried to get fired from my jobs in the past. More on…