I'm so happy to know you've dug yourself out of that pit. I know how it feels! I'm still quite young, 29 - I too am a survivor of horrible trauma from the house, which you've so kindly read and commented on, thank you. I...I really was on a weird ass path. I should probably write my about me too at some point.
Fortunately, I'm about eight pounds heavier than my ideal weight, which means alcohol wasn't ever the issue for me though I could totally have seen it being a giant problem had I been thinner during my early to mid 20s. Weed, however, was a big big problem. I know people get munchies and all but as a big lover of salads I didn't gain weight smoking weed because I could convince myself weed was fine since all I ate was salads lol
But yeah, got stoned all fuckin day and enabled it since I was working online and making decent money. I've always been good at presenting myself to be someone who has their shit together. The most terrifying combination is actually being a little competent in some spheres of life while losing all control in others.
I am married now and living with my in laws after impulsively being a digital nomad for years. I'm 29 going on 30 in a few months and daaaaaamn I was so close to doing so much I didn't want. I almost got into PORN, believe it or not! Desperation for validation will make anyone nuts!
Congratulations on surviving and thriving. IT IS SO RIDICULOUSLY EASY TO FALL OFF A STABLE PATH like it's not just certain kinds of people who do it, it can really happen to ANYONE.