I'm sorry to hear about your late fiance. I think for some people, and I was probably one of them, I just needed to know that someone cared about my wellbeing and I wasn't a paycheck away from homelessness. The need for security is what made me have such a dependent mind during my 20s. This is cringe and a big story on it's own but I resorted to a (sexless) sugar daddy situation just for the sake of feeling secure. It's weird because he never really gave me money but I knew he was there "just in case". I wrote about him a little bit but one day when I build up enough courage I'll dedicate an entire piece to it. Breaking away from him a few years ago was the best decision I ever made.
Also controlling impulse spending was a biggie. I try to remember stuff like Starbucks are more valuable the less I have access to it. I shouldn't need to spend 5 bucks a day on a latte just to have a normal day. Lattes should accentuate the day and make it special and there is more value in the scarcity of something. My husband and I have agreed those kinds of things are weekend pleasures to make the weekend more satisfying and so far it works.